Miss me with the wise words.

People say “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger”… it’s not true. When you survive the war, people tend to forget you still live with the trauma.

What hasn’t killed me has traumatised me enough for me to sometimes wish it did.

People love saying “everything happens for a reason” and I’m sick of reading quotes that tell us “God has something bigger and better in store for us”. There is nothing I could ever gain that would make up for what I’ve lost.

I might start sharing quotes about how God doesn’t give a fuck about helping or healing everyone and how God lets people take their own lives too. At least that would be true. “When it’s your time, it’s your time” – Ok. But why the fuck did God take someone I cared for in the way he did? Do we ever question that or are we just meant to be sheep and pray because it’s what we’re told? It’s sickening how little empathy we have for each other and how we’re all just meant to run to “God” – the same God that let all this happen to begin with.

There isn’t always a silver lining. There isn’t always a lesson to be learned. There isn’t always some form of wisdom that comes from a pain that doesn’t kill you. Sometimes you just need to feel it and keep feeling it until one day it isn’t there. Maybe it comes back. Then you feel it again until it goes. And comes. And goes. And so on.

I’m not being an ungrateful bitch. I’m well aware that people have it worse. But I’ve always been extremely empathic and connected. I don’t care about what I have, especially if the people I love are leaving this world because they’re hurting.

This life isn’t easy. I hope you find wisdom to get you through whatever you’re going through. If you don’t, that’s probably because reality isn’t a fairytale. This is all gonna end someday. The sooner you realise it, the sooner you can appreciate the time you do have.

Thanks for reading.