FUCK Therapy.

I would like to say… fxck therapy.

Seven weeks ago, someone I have loved and cared about for over 25+ years had passed away in one of the most traumatic ways imaginable. I have spent each day breaking down to a point where I can’t breathe. Each moment is so different, I could go from being my usual self at work to getting into my car five minutes later, needing to pull over every few minutes because I can’t see through my tears.

I’ve stopped discussing it with people, because if I hear “have you considered therapy?” one more time, I might lose it.

No I don’t need fucking therapy. I’ve studied Psychology and Counselling, I know how it works. Plus this type of sudden grief is something that God himself couldn’t help me with (I mean, “God” put me in this position in the first place so I guess you could say I’m pretty pissed off with “God” too).

The reason people get sick and tired of life is because people fail to understand.

I don’t need to speak to a stranger about what’s happened more than I need the people who claim to care to actually understand why I feel how I’m feeling.

Then there’s the confusion as to why it’s hit me this hard. As if I owe you a fucking explanation.

Now I know how to handle my pain. I also know how to handle people who don’t know the right things to say and do… even though the empathy and understanding is fucking exhausting sometimes. But I get it. Everyone’s different. Everyone’s thoughts and experiences are different. It is what it is.

But through it all, I’ve realised –

This world doesn’t know how to handle pain.

They expect you to justify it; to tone it down.

I will never tone down the fact that this world is fucked up and we all need to do better.

To lose the one person who actually had so much heart, who was always there for me as a little child, through our teens, to adulthood; a person who could see right through me – for all my good and all my bad, and still love and care for me the way he did, is a pain I don’t wish upon anyone.

Of course it’s going to rip me in pieces that he’s gone.

Of course I’m going to be fucking angry at this world.

Of course it’s going to make me mad that other people refuse to acknowledge the pain that exists in each and every one of us.

The last thing piece of advice we, as humans, should be giving to ANYONE – is to go to fucking therapy.

Now this post isn’t about me. This is about people like my friend and many, many others in the world, who feel misunderstood and so out of place, because we live in a world full of heartless, selfish narcissists who don’t care about anything or anyone but them damn selves.

The worst pain is pain that no one can understand. So at least try to understand. Also understand that you won’t always understand.

Your intentions may be good, but don’t try and make someone see the “good” where there clearly is none. Not everything has a silver lining. Be fucking human enough to understand this.

Fuck therapy. And if you’re the type of person who doesn’t care enough about people and thinks therapy is going to solve everything, fuck you too.

It’s ok to be hurt. It’s ok to feel pain. It’s called being fucking human and I don’t understand how people just don’t understand that.

There are reasons for feeling how we feel and it’s all valid. I’m sick of this world thinking we need to numb it down or “go to therapy”… there is no therapist that can understand what I’m going through more than I can.

You have everything within you to move forward. It’s a matter of perception. Sometimes; it’s a matter of acceptance. It’s a matter of dealing with your emotions.

The only therapy you, me and everyone needs is empathy, compassion and understanding. If you can’t provide those things; like if you literally know the situation and still cannot understand how or why it is so deeply painful, then you are a part of the problem this world is as fucked up as it is. Take your motivational speeches elsewhere because I can promise you, the amount of fucked up trauma I’ve been through these last 5 years; I speak for myself and everyone else going through depression and grief – it’s going to take a hell of a lot more than your positive quote and your therapy suggestions to heal us.