Now there are people who are genuine, kind, loving people who get mistreated and this post isn’t directed towards you. I also feel like these genuine, kind, loving people wouldn’t even get offended because they already know it’s not applicable to them… but I still wanted to mention that before I start.
With that said..
If you feel bad about yourself – you should start by questioning how you treat other people.
I used to have a lot of empathy and compassion for people because deep down, I understand that no one wants to intentionally malicious; people are doing their best to deal with whatever pain they’ve been through. We’re all human. We hurt and we also hurt others. It’s life.
I believe people deserve empathy. I believe people deserve compassion. I also believe people make mistakes and they need to take accountability for what they’re doing – and this has absolutely nothing to do with anyone else but being honest with yourself.
It took me a long time to realise that not everyone feels deeply. Some people have such surface level energy (astrology comes into play with this). They wouldn’t ever be able to comprehend let alone understand the depth of your emotions.
It’s not about forcing anyone to understand you either. If you’re the type of person who requires them to simply “get it” then you need to ask yourself why it matters. Why do you feel they need to understand? That’s something you need to work on, regardless of how bad you think they are.
So moral of this post is – the people who feel insecure; the people who feel bad about themselves and expect pity from other people are the same people who require the pity in order to feel good about the bad they do.
It used to genuinely hurt me when someone would say they don’t feel good enough… to a point where I basically ruined myself in order to try and show them they were.
Every mistake was forgiven.
Every choice was understood.
Every painful word was ignored because I knew it was coming from a place of pain.
When you start giving people a free pass for their choices, they tend to become very entitled. And no this is not just romantic relationships – this can be anyone/ any type of relationship.
Just because someone shows you compassion and empathy doesn’t mean your choices aren’t f##ked up. It doesn’t mean your actions are excused. It doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt them.
We’ve all been the victim in some way at some point. We’ve also been the one that has caused pain to someone, some way at some point. Be real with yourself.
Having the ability to understand and forgive others when they not only can’t reciprocate it, but thrive off your pain, will break you. I realised that having the gift of empathy is just as much of a blessing as it is a curse.
So if you’re a person who feels like you can keep putting people down and lying your way through life while hurting the people who actually give a f### about you, then it’s no wonder you don’t feel good enough.
You don’t feel good enough because you’re not good enough, and no I don’t feel sorry for you.
There are people in this world who have nothing. No food, no arms, no legs. You’re blessed with a lot and you use it to cause other people pain AND you want people to feel sorry for you. If there’s anything you offer this world, it’s the audacity…
You aren’t the first person to ever make a mistake and you won’t be the last. It’s not about punishing yourself, it’s about acceptance – of your light and your shadow. Focus on the light but understand when your shadow-self is turning the world dark for others around you.
No matter the person or the type of relationship we share, I will happily dance with the devil that knows and accepts they’re the devil. There are too many people who claim to be an angel and they’re so focused on hiding their horns that they can’t even truly express themselves because if they do, their horns might show.
Insecurities come from who you are; it comes from how you see yourself. So if you’re convincing yourself that you’re a “good” person when deep down you know you’re causing people hurt and pain, then of course you’d be insecure. You’re lying to yourself and you know your lying to yourself so how do you expect yourself to feel “secure” in who you are as a person? Do better.
Now I’m not saying you need to convince yourself you’re a bad person. I’m saying, accept yourself for the totality of who you are. As humans, we have our light and our shadow sides. Accept that you’re not always the “good” person. You don’t need to justify it to anyone but learn to accept it within yourself. Then you can begin showing other people the same empathy and understanding when you’re met with their shadow side.
I’ve made many mistakes and poor choices, but I’ve been real with myself about them. So there is nothing anyone can use against me that I haven’t already dealt with and accepted in myself. Despite what we tell ourselves, deep down we know the pain we’ve caused. We know when we’ve hurt others (or tried to).
Now how the hell do you expect to feel good about yourself when you make a lot of fxcked up choices?
It’s pathetic to be playing the victim expecting people to feel sorry for you… and you know it. Which also adds to your insecurity. Do better. Or don’t. Just don’t be crying wolf.
Inner Truth Gym 