What are you living for?

New-Age Spiritual concepts will emphasise how important it is that you “love yourself” and put yourself first; and although I agree (to a certain extent) – I’m just going to hit you with the reality of life.

One day – each and every single one of us are going to die. When that day comes, it doesn’t matter how much you loved yourself. What’s going to matter is who you were for the people left behind – whether it’s something you said, something you did or simply in the way you loved them. No one’s going to miss you for the amount of self-love you had.

When we discuss these “spiritual” concepts (FYI I hate the term “spiritual” because what it means to me is so deep and profound) -but especially these “New-Aged” concepts of self-love and how it’s become so big in the Western spiritual community.

Yes I said Western.

Because true spirituality – is a way of being.

It has NOTHING to do with crystals (excuse the pun aha), candles, lighting sage etc. Though these are tools that help us align back in with our higher self, owning those things have nothing to do with spirituality.

To me, being spiritual and having “self-love” are two completely different things. This is where being raised in a strict Catholic family has served me.

One important example: Jesus.

Now I’m not here to debate religion – but look at the story of Jesus (even if you don’t believe it).

He died for our sins. We’re taught to live like him. For other people.

So at what point did this whole “self-love” phenomena become so prevalent?

Jesus healed the sick. Many of us are sick (even if it’s not physical) – and instead of helping each other heal, we’re taught to put ourselves first.

With enough compassion, empathy and love, we can all heal.

It’s not about you. I’m not saying I’m perfect, because believe me the human part of me has her moments, but before I go to bed every night I make sure I know my place in this world and I rest a little easier hoping someone’s life is a bit more bearable because of something I’ve said or done.

I don’t want you to be hard on yourself. If all you’ve ever done is cared about yourself then understand that you’re human too and you didn’t know any better.

But from my experience, the people who are genuinely happier are the ones who live for others; not their egos.

If you know some of my personal stories then you’ll know I haven’t had it easy. But if giving people love even when they may not be deemed “worthy” brings me pain, then give me pain – because I wouldn’t choose to live any other way.

We don’t need to do much to make this world a better place. We just have to care.

Care more about the starving child than your money and titles – and don’t ever forget to thank God that it’s not you in their position.

I’ve had waaaaayyyy too many people tell me that in order to truly “love” others, I had to love myself first. But it was in how I chose to love others, that I began appreciating my heart and my strength – and that’s why I can now say I’ve reached a level of self-love.

Or – maybe I did love myself… to a point where I didn’t care what it looked like to anyone else because I wasn’t ever going to let their opinions influence any of my decisions.

Let me ask you a question. If someone needs you, and you have it in you to help them, why wouldn’t you?

Because you’re scared your life is going to be worse off for it. And this is when faith comes in.

I’ve always known that regardless, God had a bigger plan. I knew if I was doing what felt right in my heart (regardless of how hard it was for me), I would never lose. I’d rather lose a few battles and win the war.

These Spiritual concepts are promoting a culture of narcissism while hiding behind cute little terms such as “self-love” and we wonder why this world isn’t moving forward.

It’s come to a point where people have decided they don’t care about any battles or any war. They simply aren’t willing to fight and if that’s how you feel then it’s fine – you’ve got nothing to lose – but you’ve got nothing to gain either.